Misty and I made a lot of memories this week. It is fucking glorious. Crazy, awesome, amazing - my heart is full to bursting! I wish I could write how this feels, but the words that come to me just seem so insufficient. Writing fail.
We had Tues though to Saturday morning together - so everyday after work we would meet to do something. Our first night, after a fun dinner, we looking at each other in the hot, soon to set, sun and asked each other what we should do - kind of drunk on the freedom of just being able to do whatever we want.
"We can go and do whatever we like!" I say looking into his/her eyes (which are the smile-iest, happiest eyes I know).
"We totally can! No curfew except your work in the morning." S/he laughs
We decided on Wreck beach, the sleeping bags were in my car, we quickly stuffed them in the trunk of his/her convertable, and raced for the beach.
Wreck beach is a nude beach (with a bazilion stairs down to it), and we got there as the sun was on the other side of the mountains, silhouetting them, and the sky the rainbow spectrum leading into the stars. The ocean gently lapped at the sand, and two young 20-something nymphets played naked in the water in front of us as we sat on one of the giant logs, snuggled into each other.
I cried. I cried from the sheer wonderfulness of the moment. Being alive just overwhelmed me, as I sat there and took it all in. The warmth and smell of him/her, the beauty all around us… in that moment I felt so alive and present - and filled with a soul deep gratitude. My life is just less that than a speck of sand on the beach in the cosmic sense, but it is mine, and I love it.
We snuggled into our sleeping bag and made out under the stars. We saw a shooting star that took both of our breaths away that we could stop talking about. We made love (and that’s just how I see it) until the wee hours of the morning when my job beckoned. I went to work smelling like the ocean, and most likely sex too.
We didn’t do that every night, we enjoyed each other though. I even helped put his new car stereo and speaker, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I love learning how things work. So I got to hold the light and ask questions and poke around a bit. We didn’t have as much crazy sex as I would have thought… but the intimacy was enormous. Our connection, is not simply wild sex, it is more. And that is something I have known, but having the time to explore that is something else entirely.
Right now s/he is with his wife, kids, Mum and Dad at his folks summer house. I know s/he is basking in the love of family - as he should! As we all do, when we get those opportunities. It’s one of those things where I am so happy for him, and yet if I let it, it can make me feel very displaced at the same time. Today I am not letting it.
I have a shit-tonne of things that I want to do today, and I’ve been a lazy whore and not done a damn thing, I talked with Mum and Dad and then Jill, catching up and enjoying their company via the phone line. No staining today as we’ve got a patch of rain, but I am coming up with ways to decorate the deck. DIY patio bed, people! Once the back deck is stained and decorated I’ll post some pics.
I am happy. :)